How To Be More Assertive : 15 Effective Tips

There are an endless number of situations that we come across in our day-to-day life where we ask ourselves this – How to Be More Assertive?

Being assertive is not always about saying yes to anything. It is about being confident about yourself and portraying that self during any situation as well.

Being assertive has always been proven beneficial in many situations where the decision-making power lies solely on one person. If this person fails to stay assertive, the whole system can get disrupted.

For example, if the head of the house does not have an assertive personality, the functioning of the house can come down and it may hamper many important decisions as well.

1. How To Be More Assertive

How To Be More Assertive


Unsure about how to have an assertive communication style? Well, worry not. Given below are 15 awesome tips to help you on how to be more assertive while you overcome your fears and shyness.

1.1. Keep Your Own Needs In Check

How to Be More Assertive
Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash

If you want to be assertive, it is very important to know exactly what you want. Being confused about your needs is not going to help at all. You need to sit down and think about your demands and need to know why the conversation is going to take place in the first place.

Once you are in touch with your needs, you will know exactly what to say.

1.2. Confidence Should Be Your Best Friend

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

So, you are at a restaurant and the food you ordered seems to taste a bit funky.

What do you do? Well, you obviously call the waiter and ask him to change the food.

Many may find this situation intimidating and would rather eat that food than send it back. The key here a lack of confidence. Confidence is something that is built over time.

Walk straight, stand up straight, and maintain eye contact while talking.

Being confident while putting forward your case will automatically increase your chances of victory by 70%. If you confidently ask for what you want, you can get things done your own way.

1.3. Always Consider Other’s Points Of View

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Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Being considerate goes a long way. You may be confident and you may have your needs in check but sometimes, the person standing in front of you might have some limitations as to what he or she can do for you.

Always look at a situation from another’s point of view before doing or acting upon something. This makes you look like a considerate person and helps you in being assertive in a positive way.

1.4. Give People Options

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Photo by Christina @ on Unsplash

Giving options to people can make you look more flexible. You could be pining for something you want and give options to people that would work out in your favor either way.

For instance, you go to collect your laundry and find that one of your shirts has a tear caused by one of the workers. Now, instead of arguing and getting mad about it, you could give two options – ask for a discount or ask them to sew up the tear.

This way, both options work in your favor and you also come off as polite, flexible, and assertive.

1.5.  Stay Calm

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Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Let’s face it. We all have had many situations where we have lost our cool and control and burst out in anger.

Aggression has never been able to solve anything. At times, it does get very frustrating when we are trying to put forth our point and everyone keeps opposing it but we need to keep in mind to stay calm no matter what.

Emotional Outbursts and having an aggressive communication style are negative traits that can hamper your overall personality. Avoiding passive-aggressive measures is also very important.

1.6. Learn to Embrace Your Feelings

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Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

It is one thing to have an emotional outburst but it is another thing to ignore your feelings and emotions completely.

There are positive ways to showcase your feelings as well. For that, it is very necessary to understand what you are feeling exactly. Learn to name your feelings.

Keeping your feelings in mind and recognizing them could help you put forth your point more easily.

You need to ask yourself how you feel and why you feel the way you feel about the situation.

1.7. Be Aware of Your Body

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Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash

It is only you who would know the best about your own body. You would know how your body reacts when you are happy, or how it reacts when you are angry.

Many people tend to start getting tears in their eyes as soon as they get angry. And once you start crying, it is a fact that no one takes you seriously.

You need to know how your body reacts so you can control all the things that go around during confrontation so that you can be heard clearly.

1.8. Speak Up

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Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

It is always wise to speak up at the moment instead of waiting.

Speaking up always proves beneficial in situations where you feel that things are not going as planned. After all, people cannot actually read your mind or thoughts.

You need to speak up to make a few changes. In case you fail to speak up, keep in mind that you would be stuck in the awkward situation that you want to avoid.

Not speaking up could cost you a lot more than you can imagine.

1.9.  Don’t Be Afraid of Confrontation

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Being afraid of confrontation makes you lose all your self-confidence.

Many a time we walk away from a situation and conversation just because there are chances that there could be confrontation involved and we want to avoid conflict.

Confrontations are awkward for everyone, but the right thing to do is face it. It is always good to face things. Once you learn to confront people, things get clearer and can decrease the buildup of unwanted misunderstandings as well.

1.10.  Start With Low-Stake Situations

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Photo by Christina @ on Unsplash

It is always good to start small. Starting your practice of being assertive in small situations can help a lot.

Like asking for the waiter to add extra whipped cream to your waffles or asking the waiter to get some extra tissues for your table.

These small situations where you practice being assertive help you gain confidence and help you in being assertive during larger situations and cases.

1.11. Learn To Say No

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Photo by Morgan Bryan on Unsplash

It is always a worry for people that if they say no as an answer to someone, they would be impacted negatively.

But the fact is that if you say no for a logical reason, the person on the other end of the conversation will respect your decision. Leading people on and giving them hope is far worse than saying no at the right time.

People are generally more considerate of your reasons than you think them to be. Give it a try!

1.12. Know Your Boundaries

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Photo by Erin Larson on Unsplash

Learn to know and set boundaries and limitations while being assertive.

It is a good thing that you have decided to become assertive but that does not mean you will go over your boundaries and do things that are not within your limitations.

Your boundaries and morals are what make you unique. Don’t lose it.

1.13. Be Simple, Honest, and Direct

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Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

This point itself is very simple. Being simple, honest, and straightforward will help you a lot. Avoid stalling people. Just speak your mind.

You need to let people know how you feel about certain things honestly.

Honestly has always been helpful even though it may hurt at times. Being honest and polite is the key here.

1.14.  Use ‘I’ Instead Of ‘You’

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Photo by Tiago Felipe Ferreira on Unsplash

Taking things on you instead of pointing them out to others is a very positive trait. People tend to think of you as a responsible individual and learn to respect you more.

In relationships as well, the tendency to blame your partner causes more damage than talking things out and evaluating where you went wrong as well.

1.15. Fake It till You Make It

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Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

This is our favorite tip. The key here is to keep faking assertiveness until you totally master it and use it with ease.

This tactic comes under assertiveness training which further helps us have effective communication.

You need to take full control of being assertive and just start faking it. It doesn’t matter if you fail the first time. Keep faking it and eventually, you will be confident enough and actually become an assertive person.


2. Why Should You Learn To Be More Assertive

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Photo by Antenna on Unsplash

Being assertive has advantages of its own. First of all, you stop being a pushover and start making your own decisions by speaking your mind.

It helps you gain self-confidence and respect from others. It helps strengthen your relationships and helps you keep in touch with your thoughts and feelings. It also helps improve body language and the style of communicating.

Learning to be assertive can help improve mental health and helps you be yourself.

Finally, I know everyone has always wondered how to be straightforward without having to feel guilty. Well, assertiveness is your cue here. And if you are finding it difficult, start practicing these 15 tips on how to be more assertive, today!

3. Conclusion

Being assertive is an important skill that allows you to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs while respecting the rights and boundaries of others. It can help you communicate effectively, set clear boundaries, and stand up for yourself.

Recognize that you have the right to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Acknowledge that your opinions are valuable and deserve to be heard. Pay attention to your emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations during different situations. Understand how you feel and what you want to communicate.

State your needs or opinions directly and clearly. Avoid beating around the bush or using vague language. Being specific and concise will help others understand your point of view. Stand or sit up straight, make eye contact, and use appropriate gestures. This conveys confidence and helps you appear more assertive.

When engaging in conversations, actively listen to the other person’s perspective. Show empathy and give them your full attention. Understanding their viewpoint will help you respond appropriately and assertively. Identify your personal boundaries and communicate them assertively.


1. What does it mean to be assertive?

A: Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and respectful manner while respecting the rights and boundaries of others. It involves confidently asserting yourself without being aggressive or passive.

2. Why is it important to be assertive?

A: Being assertive allows you to effectively communicate your needs, make your opinions heard, and stand up for yourself. It helps you establish healthy boundaries, build self-confidence, and maintain respectful relationships.

3. What are some common barriers to assertiveness?

A: Some common barriers to assertiveness include fear of rejection or conflict, low self-esteem, lack of communication skills, and a desire to please others. These barriers can make it difficult to express yourself assertively.

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Last Updated on by Anudeep


Ayushi Mahajan

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