There are an endless number of situations that we come across in our day-to-day life where we ask ourselves this – How to Be More Assertive?
Being assertive is not always about saying yes to anything. It is about being confident about yourself and portraying that self during any situation as well.
Being assertive has always been proven beneficial in many situations where the decision-making power lies solely on one person. If this person fails to stay assertive, the whole system can get disrupted.
For example, if the head of the house does not have an assertive personality, the functioning of the house can come down and it may hamper many important decisions as well.
Tips On How to Be More Assertive?
Unsure about how to have an assertive communication style? Well, worry not. Given below are 15 awesome tips to help you on how to be more assertive while you overcome your fears and shyness.
Tip 1 On How to Be More Assertive – Keep Your Own Needs in Check
If you want to be assertive, it is very important to know exactly what you want. Being confused about your needs is not going to help at all. You need to sit down and think about your demands and needs to know why the conversation is going to take place in the first place.
Once you are in touch with your needs, you will know exactly what to say.
Tip 2 On How to Be More Assertive – Confidence Should Be Your Best Friend
So, you are at a restaurant and the food you ordered seems to taste a bit funky.
What do you do? Well, you obviously call the waiter and ask him to change the food.
Many may find this situation intimidating and would rather eat that food than send it back. The key here a lack of confidence. Confidence is something that is built over time.
Walk straight, stand up straight and maintain eye contact while talking.
Being confident while putting forward your case will automatically increase your chances of victory by 70%. If you confidently ask for what you want, you can get things done your own way.
Tip 3 On How to Be More Assertive – Always Consider Other’s Points Of View
Being considerate goes a long way. You may be confident and you may have your needs in check but sometimes, the person standing in front of you might have some limitations as to what he or she can do for you.
Always look at a situation from another’s point of view before doing or acting upon something. This makes you look like a considerate person and helps you in being assertive in a positive way.
Tip 4 On How to Be More Assertive – Give People Options
Giving options to people can make you look more flexible. You could be pining for something you want and give options to people that would work out in your favor either way.
For instance, you go to collect your laundry and find that one of your shirts has a tear caused by one of the workers. Now, instead of arguing and getting mad about it, you could give two options – ask for a discount or ask them to sew up the tear.
This way, both the options work in your favor and you also come off as polite, flexible, and assertive.
Tip 5 On How to Be More Assertive – Stay Calm
Let’s face it. We all have had many situations where we have lost our cool and control and burst out in anger.
Aggression has never been able to solve anything. At times, it does get very frustrating when we are trying to put forth our point and everyone keeps opposing it but we need to keep in mind to stay calm no matter what.
Emotional Outbursts and having an aggressive communication style are negative traits that can hamper your overall personality. Avoiding passive-aggressive measures is also very important.
Tip 6 On How to Be Assertive – Learn to Embrace Your Feelings
It is one thing to have an emotional outburst but it is another thing to ignore your feelings and emotions completely.
There are positive ways to showcase your feelings as well. For that, it is very necessary to understand what you are feeling exactly. Learn to name your feelings.
Keeping your feelings in mind and recognizing them could help you put forth your point more easily.
You need to ask yourself how you feel and why you feel the way you feel about the situation.
Tip 7 On How to Be More Assertive – Be Aware of Your Body
It is only you who would know the best about your own body. You would know how your body reacts when you are happy, or how it reacts when you are angry.
Many people tend to start getting tears in their eyes as soon as they get angry. And once you start crying, it is a fact that no one takes you seriously.
You need to know how your body reacts so you can control all the things that go around during confrontation so that you can be heard clearly.
Tip 8 On How to Be More Assertive – Speak Up
It is always wise to speak up at the moment instead of waiting.
Speaking up always proves beneficial in situations where you feel that things are not going as planned. After all, people cannot actually read your mind or thoughts.
You need to speak up to make a few changes. In case you fail to speak up, keep in mind that you would be stuck in the awkward situation that you want to avoid.
Not speaking up could cost you a lot more than you can imagine.
Tip 9 On How to Be More Assertive – Don’t Be Afraid of Confrontation
Being afraid of confrontation makes you lose all your self-confidence.
Many a time we walk away from a situation and conversation just because there are chances that there could be confrontation involved and we want to avoid conflict.
Confrontations are awkward for everyone, but the right thing to do is face it. It is always good to face things. Once you learn to confront people, things get more clearer and can decrease the buildup of unwanted misunderstandings as well.
Tip 10 On How to Be More Assertive – Start with Low Stake Situations
It is always good to start small. Starting your practice of being assertive in small situations can help a lot.
Like asking for the waiter to add extra whipped cream on your waffles or asking the waiter to get some extra tissues for your table.
These small situations where you practice being assertive help you gain confidence and helps you in being assertive during larger situations and cases.
Tip 11 On How to Be More Assertive – Learn to Say No
It is always a worry for people that if they say no as an answer to someone, they would be impacted negatively.
But the fact is that if you say no for a logical reason, the person on the other end of the conversation will respect your decision. Leading people on and giving them hope is far worse than saying no at the right time.
People are generally more considerate of your reasons than you think them to be. Give it a try!
Tip 12 On How to Be More Assertive – Know Your Boundaries
Learn to know and set boundaries and limitations while being assertive.
It is a good thing that you have decided to become assertive but that does not mean you will go over your boundaries and do things that are not within your limitations.
Your boundaries and morals are what make you unique. Don’t lose it.
Tip 13 On How to Be More Assertive – Be Simple, Honest, and Direct
This point itself is very simple. Being simple, honest, and straight forward will help you a lot. Avoid stalling people. Just speak your mind.
You need to let people know how you feel about certain things honestly.
Honestly has always been helpful even though it may hurt at times. Being honest and polite is the key here.
Tip 14 On How to Be More Assertive – Use ‘I’ Instead Of ‘You’
Taking things on you instead of pointing them to others is a very positive trait. People tend to think of you as a responsible individual and learn to respect you more.
In relationships as well, the tendency to blame your partner causes more damage than talking things out and evaluating where you went wrong as well.
Tip 15 On How to Be More Assertive – Fake It till You Make It
This is our favorite tip. The key here is to keep faking assertiveness until you totally master it and use it with ease.
This tactic comes under assertiveness training which further helps us have effective communication.
You need to take full control of being assertive and just start faking it. It doesn’t matter if you fail the first time. Keep faking it and eventually, you will be confident enough and actually become an assertive person.
Why Should you Learn How to Be More Assertive?
Being assertive has advantages of its own. First of all, you stop being a pushover and start making your own decisions by speaking your mind.
It helps you gain self-confidence and respect from others. It helps strengthen your relationships and helps you keep in touch with your thoughts and feelings. It also helps improve body language and the style of communicating.
Learning to be assertive can help improve mental health and helps you be yourself.
Finally, I know everyone has always wondered how to be straight forward without having to feel guilty. Well, assertiveness is your cue here. And if you are finding it difficult, start practicing these 15 tips on how to be more assertive, today!
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