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We, as humans, are in different stages of the emotional cycle of change. Change is the only constant in everyone’s life. The word Change itself triggers a lot of emotional responses. Setting a goal included an abundance of change in the emotional cycle of change. But to grow, improve and become a better version of yourself, change is necessary. To change effectively, thoughts emotions are involved.
Whether you are learning to ride a bike, learning new skills, delving your interest, emotions are the first things that change that involve the emotional cycle of change.
What is the ‘Emotional Cycle of Change’?
The emotional cycle of change is a psychological model developed by Don Keeley and Daryl Conner. In this model, they have explained how humans face, react to, and deal with changes in their lives. The emotional cycle of change occurs in five stages:
1. Uninformed Optimism:
This is the stage when were are excited about a new change. We have plans and see the advantages of the change, but we don’t know what it will take from us. Here, the benefits of the change are observable. You are so overwhelmed with the thought of change coming ahead, and you start to brainstorm and begin to strategize things about your future.
2. Informed Pessimism:
Change is the only constant. In Uninformed optimism, there was excitement and happiness for the change that was going to happen. But when in reality it occurs, the changes come with difficulties and challenges, the informed pessimism starts. Emotions that are going to occur are as frustration and anxiety kick in, and you begin to question if the change is needed or not. Between the 2nd and 3rd steps lies the valley of despair.
3. Valley of Despair:
This is the lowest stage of the emotional cycle of change. The person enters the Valley of despair. This is the stage where most people give up. The pain of change is felt. The quickest way to deal with this stage is to end the discomfort and go back to how you did before the change was introduced.
This phase or stage is also known as Hopeful realism, which means that the sun will shine again. What I mean is that visit the past once, where all the things were good, you will get back to stage one. If you can identify and persevere, why are you making the change? You will have a car idea what are your future vision.
4. Informed Optimism:
This is the fourth stage of the emotional cycle of change. In this stage, the chances of a positive emotional zone and the possibility of success increase. One starts to plan the actions again in the hope to have a bright future, and your plan and actions are the benefits of your actions are beginning to bear fruit. The only key here is not too stuck in the negative situation or to an emotional state of mind, struggling with the negative emotional cycle of change.
5. Success and Fulfillment:
In the final stage, where you feel and see the change results, you will find yourself reaching your desired goals. Here, the positive actions resulting in a flabergasting shift in your behavior pattern and the cost of change have been perceived as worth it.
The Personal Cycle of Change
The emotional cycle of change is something that everyone goes through, and some are obfuscated of what the changes are. Why are we stuck at one? Many people set goals but can’t get complete them on time and get frustrated.
Let us understand the personal change cycle that seeks to lift the covers on the mysteries of emotional change.
Awareness is something we only try to do from the outside. Sometimes it is challenging to become aware of our internal behavior that is causing problems sometimes. We keep changing the outside one, that is, to change our external behavior without changing how we see the situation on the inside.
When internal behavior doesn’t, we get emotionally frustrated, and we tend to have reminders, someone to nag us to make sure we keep up with the new behavior. When we truly connect with the change from the inside out, the change becomes so much easier. The very step of change is to build awareness or to have an informed pessimism.
The first stage of the emotional cycle of change is embarking on a significant change is building a real-time awareness by asking yourself what the exact change you need is? Why you need that change, ensure that you are connected to your emotional brain more than the logical brain.
Once you have a deeper awareness of why you want the emotional change. Once you are clear with the change, why the change is so important in one’s life, by having the accurate answer of what change and why you need it to have a strong by creating an emotional vision of what looks good and by checking the commitments towards that change, it is the stage of informed optimism.
Most people make the mistake of thinking that they have decided to change a few steps in a direction and believe they need to attain success. The most successful change happens only when people change things consciously and create the right environment for the change to happen.
Final reality check:
If you are thinking of having a personal emotional change to have a life of success and fulfillment, then go to the conscious change stage and rethink how deep you have gone? And the level of commitment of how much you want it. No judgment!
Questions to Ask Yourself With the Personal Cycle of Change
During the process of changing emotionally, here are some questions that one asks themself to keep track of their emotional state:
For awareness, or to keep track of awareness of your self here are some questions that you can ask are:
- What is your current mindset or behavior pattern?
- When do you notice it most?
- What is the specific change you want to make?
- How will this change serve you?
- What are the changes you are applying to have a better life
2. Conscious Choice
- What are the benefits you will have after hanging?
- What do you lose by not changing?
- What is your level of commitment to change?
- What is getting in the way? Barriers?
- Reasons you may have failed before?
- What is your conscious choice?
3. Conscious Change
- What action do you need to take to make the change?
- Do you need to make changes to your home or work life to support the change?
- What routine are you going to follow that will make your changes easier?
- What will be your process for review and reflection?
- Do you need to acquire some specific skills or knowledge?
How to Have a Good Control on Your Emotions?
There are ample things around that are not changeable, like, for example, the traffic, or someone else’s behavior, but there is one thing that can be changeable. The meaning we take away from events. Meaning connects to our larger life blueprint.
The implementation of the cycle’s five stages includes Uninformed optimism, the valley of despair, Informed Pessimism, Informed optimism, Success, and fulfillment.
It is all about controlling your emotions, maintaining the emotional Cycle Of change. When you learn to control your feelings in the right way, you seem to you can derive more positive, productive meanings, even from seemingly negative events.
When you have the master of emotions, it is critical to understand that they are your emotions. We can damage our relationships and lives by letting emotions run and attaching the negative meaning to the feelings.
Life is full of ups and downs. When facing any situation that elicits strong feelings from you, pause to consider what meaning you’re going to attach to it. You can develop emotional control by using one of the following tactics:
Take a deep breath:
Instead of reacting immediately to the situation, just take a deep breath, take a long deep breath, give yourself a moment to process what happened, take a step back before reacting.
Find out what you are feeling:
It is very easy to say that “I am sad or angry because they have hurt me or they made me angry”? Dig deeper into your emotions and search for an answer: you are angry because of their actions, or maybe you are afraid of being wrong or right? Emotions are very complex; they make us go into doubt at times. Doubt towards the clarity of our goal, worth.
Replace Your Negative thoughts:
If your mind goes straight to how you’ve been wronged or how terrible everything is, divert yourself. Dwelling on negativity will only make you more prone to it, so focus on positive emotions. Change your thoughts and change your story.
Channelize your energy:
Humans’ emotions are indelibly powerful. Channelizing your energy in some sort of physical activity like running, going for a walk, running.
Exploring the emotions:
Do the major questions arise when you start identifying: Why do you feel the way you do? Talking with a trusted friend or family member can help you understand why you’re feeling the way you do. Once you understand an emotion, it’s that much easier to control it.
What are the Actions that Make Up Our Lives?
The way we feel in a certain way, we do certain things. From negative ones like smoking to positive ones like going to the gym, our behavior patterns stem from our desire to meet some of our six human needs.
The behavioral pattern becomes our life story and what we tell ourselves about who we are and why we are that way. Instead of practicing emotional control, we likely feel adrift and powerless.
We can’t control the triggers, but we can shift the meanings we extract from the triggers. Emotional control is making meaning is all about making the meaning you want. Otherwise, you’ll continue to repeat old patterns and not make any lasting change.
Likewise, in mathematics, physics, and economics, everything has a formula similarly in the process of controlling our emotions. We have a formula here too:
We can reduce the cycle of meaning’s complexity to a single formula:
Meaning = Emotion = Life
Whether you are making your feeling emotions better by talking to your friends, a family making an effort to change your behavioral pattern along the way implementing a challenging strategic plan, resolving unhealthy conflict, or changing something in your personal life, it will be an emotional ride, you embrace your ride, with a new behavior change. Here, complete the knowledge on and light on the healthy behavior that will hit your progress in a positive direction.
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