We as humans are in different stages of the emotional cycle of change. Change is the only constant in everyone’s life. The word Change itself triggers a lot of emotional responses. Setting a goal included an abundance of change in the emotional cycle of change. But to grow, improve and become a better version of yourself change is necessary. To change effectively, thoughts emotions are involved.
Whether you are learning to ride a bike learning new skills, delving your interest emotions are the first things that change, that involve the emotional cycle of change.
What is the ‘emotional cycle of change’?
The emotional cycle of change is a psychological model developed by Don Keeley and Daryl Conner. In this model, they have explained how humans face, react to, and deal with changes in their lives. The emotional cycle of change occurs in five stages:
1. Uninformed optimism: This is the stage when were are excited about a new change We have plans and see the advantages of the change, but we don’t know what it is going to take from us. Here, the benefits of the change are observable. You are so overwhelmed with the thought of change coming ahead, you start to brainstorm and start to strategize things about your future.
2. Informed Pessimism: Change is the only constant, in Uninformed optimism, there was excitement and happiness for the change that is going to happen. But when in reality it occurs the changes come with difficulties and challenges, there the informed pessimism starts. Emotions that are going to occur are as frustration and anxiety kick in and you start to question if the change is really needed or not. Between the 2nd and 3rd steps lies the valley of despair.
3. Valley of despair: This is the lowest stage of the emotional cycle of change, the person enters the Valley of despair. This is the stage where most people give up. The pain of change is felt. the quickest way to deal with this stage is to end the discomfort and go back to the way you did things before the change was introduced.
This phase or stage is also known as Hopeful realism, which means that the sun will shine again. What I mean is that, visit the past once, where all the things were good, you will get back to stage one. If you can identify and persevere why are you making the change? You will have a car idea what are your future vision.
4. Informed optimism: This is the fourth stage of the emotional cycle of change, in this stage, the chances of the positive emotional zone and the possibility of success increase. One starts to plan the actions again in the hope to have a bright future and your plan and actions are the benefits of your actions are starting to bear fruit. The only key here is not too stuck in the negative situation or to the emotional state of mind, struggling with the negative emotional cycle of change.
5.Success and fulfillment: in the final stage, where you feel and see the results of the change, you will find yourself reaching your desired goals. Here, the positive actions resulting in a flabergasting change in your behavior pattern and the cost of change have been perceived as worth it.
The Personal Cycle of Change
The emotional cycle of change is something that everyone goes through and some are obfuscated of what are the changes, why are we stuck at one? Many people set goals but couldn’t get complete them on time and get frustrated.
Let us understand the personal change cycle, that seeks to lift the covers on the mysteries of emotional change.
- Awareness: Awareness is something, we only try to do from the outside. sometimes it is difficult to become aware of our internal behavior that is causing problems sometimes. we keep on changing the outside one that is, to change our external behavior without making any change to how we are seeing the situation on the inside.
When internal behavior doesn’t, we get emotionally frustrated, we tend to have reminders, someone to nag us to make sure we keep up with the new behavior. When we truly connect with the change from the inside out the change becomes so much easier. The very step of change is to built awareness or to have an informed pessimism.
The first stage of the emotional cycle of change is embarking on a significant change is building a real-time awareness by asking yourself what is the exact change you need? why you need that change, ensuring yourself that you are connected to your emotional brain more rather than connecting more to the logical brain.
2. Conscious Choice: Once you have a deeper awareness of why you want the emotional change. once you are clear with the change, why the change is so important in one’s life, by having the accurate answer of what change and why you need it to have a strong by creating an emotional vision of what looks good and by checking the commitments towards that change. it is the stage of Informed optimism.
3. Conscious Change: Most people make this mistake of thinking that has decided to change a few steps in a direction and think they have to attain success. The most successful change happens only when people change things consciously and creates the right environment for the change to happen.
4. Final reality check: If you are thinking to have a personal emotional change to have a life of success and fulfillment, then go to the stage of conscious Change and rethink how deep you have gone? and the level of commitment of how much you want it. no judgment!
Questions to Ask Yourself with the personal cycle of change
During the process of change emotionally here are some questions that one asks himself/herself to keep a track of their emotional state:
- Awareness: For awareness, or to keep track on awareness of your self here are some questions that you can ask is
A . What is your current mindset or behavior pattern?
B. When do you notice it most?
C. What is the specific change you want to make?
D. How will this change serve you?
E. What are the changes you are applying to have a better life
a. what are the benefits that you will be having after hanging?
b. What do you lose by not changing?
c. What is your level of commitment to change?
d. What is getting in the way? Barriers?
e. Reasons you may have failed before?
f. What is your conscious choice?
a. What action do you need to take to make the change?
b. Do you need to make changes to your home or work life to support the change?
c. what routine you are going to follow that will make your changes easier?
d. What will be your process for review and reflection?
e Do you need to acquire some specific skills or knowledge?
How to Have A Good Control On your Emotions?
There are ample things around that are not changeable, like for example the traffic, someone else’s behavior, but there is one thing that can definitely be changeable. The meaning we take away from events. Meaning connects to our larger life blueprint.
Here comes the implementation of the five stages of the cycle that includes, the Uninformed optimism, valley of despair, Informed Pessimism, Informed optimism, Success, and fulfillment.
EMOTIONS, FEELINGS, AND EMOTIONAL CONTROL
It is all about controlling your emotions, maintaining the emotional Cycle Of change when you learn to control your emotions in the right way, you seem to you can derive more positive, productive meanings, even from seemingly negative events.
When you have the master of emotions, it is critical to understand that they are your emotions. By letting emotions run and attaching the negative meaning to the emotions we can damage our relationships and our lives.
Life is full of ups and downs when facing any situation that is elicitating strong feelings from you, pause to consider what meaning you’re going to attach to it. You can develop emotional control by using one of the following tactics:
- Take a deep breath: Instead of reacting immediately to the situation just take a deep breath, just take a long deep breath, give yourself a moment to process what just happen, take a step back before reacting.
- Find out what you feeling: it is very easy to say that “I am sad or angry because they have hurt me or they made me angry”? Dig deeper into your emotions and search for an answer that is you are angry because of their actions or maybe you are afraid of being wrong or they are right? Emotions are very complex in nature, they make us go into doubt at times. Doubt towards the clarity of our goal, worth.
- Replace Your Negative thoughts: If your mind goes straight to how you’ve been wronged or how terrible everything is, divert yourself. Dwelling on negativity will only make you more prone to it, so focus on positive emotions. Change your thoughts and change your story.
- Channelize your energy: Humans’ emotions are indelibly powerful. Channelizing your energy in some sort of physical activity like running, going for a walk, running.
- Exploring the emotions: Do the major questions arise when you start identifying Why do you feel the way you do? Talking with a trusted friend or family member can help you understand why you’re feeling what you do. Once you understand an emotion, it’s that much easier to control it.
What are the actions that make up our lives?
The way we feel in a certain way, we do certain things. From negative ones like smoking to positive ones like going to the gym, our patterns of behavior stem from our desire to meet some of our six human needs.
The behavioral pattern becomes our life story and what we tell ourselves about who we are and why we are that way. Instead of practicing emotional control, we likely feel adrift and powerless.
Well, we can’t control the triggers but we can shift the meanings that we extract from the triggers. Emotional control is making meaning is all about making the meaning you want, otherwise, you’ll continue to repeat old patterns and not make any lasting change.
Likewise, in mathematics, physics, and economics, everything has a formula similarly in the process of controlling our emotions we have a formula here too:
We can reduce the cycle of meaning’s complexity to a single formula:
Meaning = Emotion = Life
whether you are making your feeling emotions better by talking to your friends, a family making an effort to change your behavioral pattern along the way implementing a challenging strategic plan, resolving unhealthy conflict, or changing something in your personal life, it will be an emotional ride, you embrace your ride, with a new behavior change. Here, complete the knowledge on and light on the healthy behavior that will hit your progress in a positive direction.
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