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Family is the nucleus of our human society, the primary nurturer of its members, and an essential source of tranquillity, happiness, and stability. When any situation creates tension between family members or becomes a means to a troubled relationship due to unwanted misunderstandings between family members, they are called family problems. There is no family without differences, and thus every family faces some problem or the other at one point in time. These problems might be divided into psychological, cultural, economic, health, or social problems.
Just as different kinds of families, nuclear, joint, and extended, the problems that each of these different families faces might be different. But certain problems are common to all types of families.
Common Family Problems
The common family problems are:
1. Distance
The distance can cause a strain on any healthy relationship. It is one of the very common family problems that almost every family faces. When one is away from their family for a long time, or their frequency is high, that might cause conflicts between members as one might get irritated on not being close to their family members. Thanks to technology, one can be distant and yet stay connected to their family through video calls.
On the one hand, as too much distance is a problem, not giving enough distance or space might also be a problem. Family members should be close to each other but should give each other their space and respect one’s personal boundaries.
2. Arguments
When family issues arise, every member might have a different take or viewpoint about it, and thus opinion clashes are normal. But if disagreement and opinion clashes lead to arguments becoming a regular or daily thing, it adds to the list of family problems. Tensions can be raised in the family due to these arguments.
Arguments have the potential to do serious damage to any relationship. Thus, one should try not to lose their calm or throw a temper fit while arguing and should also not call out names or get into disrespecting each other.
3. Financial Stress
Financial stress or money problems is yet again one of the very common family problems. Financial stress 1might create stress in family relationships. Money has the ability to create tension in the household, between the people of the family and it can be dealt with by making a monthly or weekly budget and sticking to it. When a family is having money troubles, they should curtail their expenses and also should not buy things that are not necessary.
To deal with financial stress, the family members can always try and earn some small income, and apart from that they can save money by eating home-cooked food rather than ordering, or they can walk small distances instead of using a car and wasting money on fuel. Better management of money can make do with such situations.
4. Communication Issues
In the list of family problems, miscommunication or lack of proper communication is also there. Miscommunication can lead to discrepancies between two individuals. When an individual feels that he is not being understood, or heard, or cannot exactly say what they mean, these are all forms of communication issues.
Communication is the key to healthy relations, so it is better to talk and express what you feel without hurting other family members’ sentiments and sort out any miscommunication through healthy conversation.
5. Personal-Professional Life Balance
Mismanagement of work life and personal life also leads to family problems. Working parents should find an appropriate amount of time out for their children, especially for other family members. An imbalance between work and personal life may lead to conflicts and make family members and children feel neglected.
In such family situations, time management is the key. Work is definitely very important, but one should keep some time from their busy schedule to be spent with their family and maybe sometimes with the extended family.
6. Household Chores
Another very common problem amongst other family problems is household chores. Here the role of the family of every member comes to play. If one particular individual has to do every household chore or most of them, that member might begin to feel frustrated and irritated.
The roles and responsibilities of the household chores should be equally divided amongst the family members. Children from a young age should be taught to do basic household chores.
7. Parent-Child Conflict
A certain amount of conflict is always present between every parent and child of the obvious generation gap and differences in thought processes. But if these conflicts occur regularly and harm the peace of the house, then it is one of the family problems that the family faces. The parents should not be either too authoritative or too lenient. Every parent adopts a different kind of parenting style, which may or may not cause conflict with their child depending upon the nature and nurture of the child.
Parent-child conflict can be most easily solved by parents giving value to their child’s opinions and decisions and giving them the space to grow and evolve as an individual.
8. Lifestyle Choices
Different kinds of families have different ways of living, and different family members might have lifestyle choices. This difference is possible and among the few common family problems. One of the family members might believe in a certain religion that the rest of the family members don’t or might be atheists, which creates tension in the family.
Families often have a defined set of notions about how one should live life and regarding culture too. If any of the members live or choose a lifestyle different from that set notion, conflict arises in the family. The elders might begin to think that the young ones don’t respect them if they steer away from the family’s set notion.
9. Unfaithfulness
If an individual breaks trust or is unfaithful towards their family, it will most definitely be considered one of the family problems. Deceiving one’s family members for one’s own good is very selfish and mean, and inconsiderate as it will hurt the sentiments of family members a lot.
Gaining the trust and support of their family back will be a task that might be incomplete for years, and this might break apart the family. The guilt of being the reason their family broke apart might be something that might burden the individual in the future.
10. Violence or Abuse
Whether verbal or physical, abuse is far more dangerous than any of the family problems. Abuse might affect the mental health of the victim and could manifest as a mental illness. The most common mental illness that one can develop due to violence is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD2) and depression. Abusive behaviour towards any of the family members might severely affect the other family members.
Physical abuse might lead to serious physical injuries, and verbal abuse leaves scars mentally. Due to such circumstances at home, adult children might get addicted to substance abuse as it might give them temporary peace from all the conflicts or problems present in the family. Thus, family members should avoid hurling abuses of any kind to maintain the peace and dignity of the family.
Ways to Deal with Family Problems
Family problems in any household create tension and an environment filled with negativity. Individuals might feel anxious3, confused, frustrated, irritated, and isolated due to prolonged family problems. After this point in time, individuals might feel exhausted and stressed out due to these problems. The best way to deal with family problems is through family therapy.
1. Family Therapy
Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling or psychotherapy that helps family members resolve conflicts and improve communication. It includes all the family members and, if not all, the ones who are willing to solve the family situation.
There is one-to-one counselling among the family members and also counselling among each other. It helps to deepen connections among the family members and provides us with ways to get through stressful situations in the family long after therapy 4sessions are over. The duration or time period of family therapy depends upon the situation of the family.
2. Control Angry Emotions
On an individual level, one can deal with family problems by keeping their temperament in control, and that can be done by meditating as meditation 5makes one calm.
3. Journal
One can also start journaling if they feel that their family members are not hearing their voice or feel that their opinions are not valued. If all these family problems affect one mentally, they can take individual counselling or therapy sessions too.
Problems, disagreements, and tension come and go in every family, but our families are way too precious to be lost over such problems. One should always try to solve these family problems rather than give up. Always remember never to give up on your family because when everyone else gives up on you, your family might be the only one there for you to have your back.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How Can Problems with Communication in A Family Be Fixed?
Actively listening, avoiding using “I” words, avoiding using blame or accusation, setting aside time to discuss, and actively engaging with each other can all help to solve communication problems.
2. How Can a Family-Worry Over Money Be Managed?
Making a budget, cutting back on unnecessary spending, getting financial guidance, and working as a family to find answers are all effective ways to reduce financial stress.
3. How Can Disputes Between Relatives Be Settled?
Active listening techniques, avoiding blame and judgment, finding common ground, and, if required, consulting a family therapist can all help families settle conflicts.
Name – Suvangi Chanda
Qualification – MBBS Student
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Family will always be family when you and your family members know to communicate better. If you are living together you will definitely have arguments, and disagreements. The main point is to settle it, and in order to settle it you gotta communicate better.